Recently , One of my ex-colleague mentioned that he wants to leave his Organization as he is having massive difference of opinion with his boss. His boss is MOST stressful part of his Job and its taking toll on his health.
Not a New discussion or a New problem as 3 out every 4 people report that their boss is the most stressful part of their Job.
“Seventy-five percent of working adults say the worst aspect of their job — the most stressful aspect of their job — is their immediate boss,” As per USA Today.
“Stressful Bosses “ have been researched, analyzed & written in detail so I am not going to put another thought around it.
What caught my attention is that– we term our Bosses “Bad Boss” because of “Difference of Opinion”? If I understand from my ex-colleague issue , it was primarily due to difference of opinion so is in most other cases.
Now Is having Difference of Opinion Good?
If we THINK deeply & consciously, Its obvious that Since the beginning of human civilization, people have thought differently, acted differently & fared differently from each other. We have difference of opinion with our children, our spouse & our Parents. Do we prefix them with “Bad”? The view that we adopt for ourselves profoundly affects the way we lead life. Believing that our opinions or qualities are carved in stone – the fixed mindset creates an urgency to prove ourselves again and again.
Is it our “FIXED MINDSET” that is causing stress or “Our Boss”?
“It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races.”-Mark Twain
There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy. Albert Ellis
As my ex-colleague puts it that there is daily battle of constant criticism & negativity, no matter what we achieved, the focus is always on “What went wrong?” or “What we needed to do better?”
How about changing our “OWN” mindset vs “fixing our Boss” or “Changing Company”?
a) One has a Choice – Someone rightly mentioned that we are Product of our choices.It depends on you how you interpret your challenges, setbacks & criticism? You can interpret them in a growth mindset that you have to stretch , expand your capabilities and change your strategy vs accumulating stress.. …Someone Rightly said “if you don’t want to be criticized ; say nothing ,do nothing & be nothing”.. Its up to you what choices you make during your interaction with your Boss.
Variety is the spice of life.
b) Use Question to manage your Mindset -If your Boss makes a thoughtless comment, Think about 1st question that you ask your self. If you ask “Why is he talking like this?”Now your mind is looking for reason why is he talking like this & that creates stress because even if you get it , u cant change it. Now if you change your question to ” What can i do to help me feel better in such situation? or what can i do to make him or her feel better or how can i do more of what i love ?”. As your mind searches for answers , you are likely to FEEL better as you are focused on positive things. You are either looking to help yourself or help someone. Helping anyone is an awesome feeling.
History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heart-breaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats. B.C. Forbes
c) Be Encouraged – If you operate with high Energy, growth mindset, ignore negativity & focus on your mountain Top , you are likely to carry an “Encouraging Energy” with you that will help you manage your stress.
& one of my Best for today :The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. Let a man lose everything else in the world but his enthusiasm and he will come through again to success. H.W. Arnold
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett
Imagine making a right choice ,Asking right question & remaining encouraged throughout tough interaction with your Boss ; you can gracefully get rid of your “stress”
I have my own struggle, my own set of challenges, my own share of Bad bosses however reflection through journaling help me manage my situation well.I get super excited & elated when many learns my from my experience.
Do let me know your thoughts about above & how you manage your similar challenges.
We have become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.”